tiredestprincess:

ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”

(via encourage)

surprisebitch:

dating tip: ask them to show you their recently used emojis so you can count your matches and see if you are compatible

(Source: surprisebitch, via fake-mermaid)

aieon:

It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.

(via pizza)